In 50 something days – March 17, 2016

Jane,

 

I am glad to know you didn’t take the obvious approach and reprimand me for being stuck here. I’m not allowed to talk about my case but all of the public defenders say I’m scoring out to prison. That’s only if it comes out that I did whatever they’re saying I did, which I didn’t.

I just want you to know that I am grateful. In 50 something days you are the only letter I’ve gotten.

The $50 will go into my account (they’ve already taken it) and they charge $2.50 a day, plus $5.00 for the antidepressants they’re  giving me. Come Wednesday (which is the only day I can order food) I’ll be negative again. But I ordered indigent this week so you most likely assured me my tube socks. 🙂 Thank you.

I know you’re probably upset with me, but then again you told me I’d end up here if I didn’t change my ways. Thank you for being mean, even though you were only being honest. My first court date is in May and I’ve taken GED test in here. I’ve passed the RLA and Science. Still waiting on the Math and Social Studies results. Hopefully a diploma will be the real one real good thins I get our of this. I’m over trying to be a gangster and living in the streets only got me tied up in situations I didn’t need.

Tell mom I still plan on coming home whenever I get out of this mess. I love you all and I miss you every day. You really don’t know what that letter meant to me. Jail isn’t as bad as they make it out to be, but the food sucks and there’s heroin addicts detoxing all over the place. I wish I never moved to Florida. The amount of things I’ve been through in 2 years is unnecessary. I know you all probably have some words for me when I get home, but I’ll thank you for them this time. I know plenty of people have sat in my position said the same thing and did the opposite. But since I’ve been here, I’ve seen girls leave, come back two weeks later and leave again. I don’t want that life. I really really don’t want to be able to say I remember anything about jail. Some of these women recall the old days in jail like its a good time!

Anyway, I’m rambling. Like I said, I love you and I miss you all. Be safe.

-Ninoska

 

P.S. Before I got here I showed my boyfriend your videos with Eric (the car rides) I specifically enjoyed the African music one.

He’s grown as heck now. I apologize for ever judging the way you raised him, and I’m sorry I missed all the chances I actually had to bond with him.
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Jail gives you nothing but time to think

© 2016, Lopez. All rights reserved.

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